it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
