'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
