I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
