please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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