Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize