It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
