woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
