The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
no, he came in my armpit
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize