I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize