Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
