I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
