And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
