I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
