Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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