Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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