she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
