some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
