Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
