now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
