didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
