I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
