I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Houston, we have a squirter
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
