Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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