WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
