god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize