He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
