If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
