if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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