she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize