dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he puts the penis in happiness.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
