So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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