my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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