Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize