I wannas sexs uuuuu
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
