My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
