wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
