and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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