What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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