I'm so fucking centered right now
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well I just put wine in my tea
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize