When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
