Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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