i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
