Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
