Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
love makes seman taste better
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
