no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
