Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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