that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
