Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
