her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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