haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
