I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
