I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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