Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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