This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
