idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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