I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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