these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
