community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
