I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
