I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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