when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
