Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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