If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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