Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Randomize
