Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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