Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
