FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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