Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
