Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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