Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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