no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize