i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
