It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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